You may have seen me post about family night or Family Home Evening. Or maybe you have heard others talk about having FHE. It is one of our family’s favorite traditions. Perhaps you have wondered what it is about or why we have a weekly night dedicated to family time, what usually happens at a typical family night, and why did we pick Monday night? We already have family time at dinner. Why this extra meeting?
Why do you hold Family Home Evening?
Our world today is filled with violence and crime. It is filled with harsh words and bullies. There is so much contention and fighting in our day. Building stronger families builds stronger communities. It builds a stronger nation. We need strong families. We need parents who love each other who are trying their best to teach their families what is right. We need homes that are filled with love and safety. Homes should be filled with laughter and good words. Home should be where children learn hard work, being kind, and to have courage to do what is right. In April 1915 The First Presidency, leaders of my church, encouraged member of our faith to hold a family night. They felt strongly on the issue of strengthening families. They sent out a letter to teach and encourage us how to hold a family night and what blessings will come from this effort.
“To this end we advise and urge the inauguration of a “home evening” throughout the Church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord. They may thus learn more fully the needs and requirements of their families, at the same time familiarizing themselves and their children more thoroughly with the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This home evening should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture reading, family topics, and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligations of children to parents, the home, the Church, society, and the nation. For the smaller children, appropriate recitations, songs, stories, and games may be introduced. Light refreshments of such a nature as may be largely prepared in the home might be served.
Formality and stiffness should be studiously avoided, and all the family should participate in the exercises.”
This was in 1915. How much more do families need strengthening today? Grady and I started holding family nights when we were first married. We took time to pray, sing, and learn together. It took a little time to adjust to having family night with a baby and then toddler. We have made it a priority, we have made sacrifices, and it has blessed our family so much. I love our time together. I believe that this suggestion came from God. So that is why we hold a family night.
In the letter sent out in 1915 these blessings were promised. And they still hold true today:
“If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them.” read the whole letter here.
These blessings are real. I am doing everything I can to help my children face the world. And anything that can increase love at home is a win-win for me.
What do you do in Family Home Evenings?
Typically we gather in our front room. We sing a song and sometimes I attempt to play the piano if we have a simple song that night. Sometimes we sing a cappella and sometimes it seems like only Grady and I are singing. Afterwards Grady picks someone to say the opening prayer. We have a lesson. Maybe we have a game or activity or maybe a child shares a talent or something special. We bear testimony of the things being taught followed by a closing prayer. And then, very important, we have a treat. We eat our treat together and usually the kids are laughing and excited and having a great time.
Before you start imagining a lovely Norman Rockwell painting be aware that we are teaching children. Sometimes they are jumping on the couch while one of us is teaching. Othertimes they’re complaining or non-stop giggling. Lessons can just be holding a Gospel centered picture and telling them a story. We will read about a prophet, like maybe a paragraph or two. Or we will just open the scriptures. It doesn’t have to be a huge production or super planned lesson.
I find it easier to pick topics that I want our family to learn about that month. Around the holidays we go caroling or do service. You can give a lesson on honoring our country’s flag or how to write a thank you note. We love to play scripture games as a family or watch a Mormon Message video. If you have kids, get them involved. Ask them what they think honesty or helping others. The point is we gather as a family and try to teach principals or give our children a chance to feel the spirit. There are some nights I wonder if they got any thing out of it. That’s okay. But we keep doing it. The Lord knows we are doing our best. And He is probably the best person to ask if you want help on how to have a family night. We have had some sweet tender moments in our living room.
Do you have to be Mormon to have Family Home Evening?
No way! This method of gathering as a family, teaching, and having fun is perfect for any family. It will help family members become closer together, and if you teach morals and inspirational things all the better. Even if you have a family game night once a week I know you will see results of a happier home. And don’t forget the treat. It doesn’t have to be homemade or take all day to make. My kids are excited if I open a box of Oreo’s or break out the ice cream.
There is something special about gathering around a table, eating, talking, that brings unity. I challenge each of you to try and home a weekly family night- no matter what faith or how many children you have. Whether you are a single parent or empty nesters. I know it will bless your family. It will be a protection and a security as you build a stronger family. I would love to share this message with the world. We can build stronger families when we take time to gather as a family. Start small and simple if you are feeling overwhelmed.
I would love to hear about your families experience with family night. What was there first reaction? What was their favorite part? In what ways has it blessed your family? We love #FamilyNight and as we sing to our children, “This is the night we waited for…”